The Litchfield staff are still in their underwear, which means the riot is ongoing in ‘Litchfield’s Got Talent’.
And after a whole two episodes of wondering where the gun’s at, episode 4 finally reveals it’s been safely in Gloria’s hands.
Well, it was safely in Gloria’s hands until the meth-heads pulled her trousers down and managed to nab it after a fraught kerfuffle.
The whole of the ensuing ‘Litchfield’s Got Talent’ competition is extremely stressful thanks to Leanne and Angie being in charge of the firearm.
As one of their fellow prisoners succinctly says: “Meth-head with a fucking gun – this is what my mum warned me about.”
“What did your mum tell you?” another inmate asks.
“Never go near a meth-head with a gun” comes the quipped reply.
The episode also provides something of an insight into Piper and Alex’s minds, as the pair talk about Linda knowing their secret, and potentially spilling the beans to Caputo.
“She could end you,” Piper tells Alex.
“I don’t give a good goddamn. Or a bad goddamn,” Alex replies.
“I don’t give any kind of goddamn goddamn. If she spills, she spills. I’m guilty, I did it, what will be, will be.”
Piper, ever the optimist, implores a beaten-down Alex not to give up – it’s not gripping TV, but at least we get something from them. They just seem so…deflated, though.
Later on, Alex reaches breaking point, admitting she’s “a murderer” to a large group of inmates.
“I murdered someone, and I let my friend go down for it, so you all can do what you want, but I’m just gonna sit here and serve my time,” she says, in reference to Lolly. (God we miss Lolly.)
Meanwhile, Judy King has fallen from grace as she’s harangued by inmates convinced she’s getting special riot treatment.
Much like the prison guards, Judy is no longer top dog – instead, she’s tied to a crucifix-style plank of wood by the white supremacists.
As they attempt to throw poor Judy off the prison roof, she’s saved when a helicopter full of paparazzi arrives from above.
There’s a lot going on in the new season’s episodes, rather than the focus being on one character as is usual for OITNB, but the flashbacks are alive and well.
This time we take a look at Alison’s past – and she’s a feminist, but also willing to introduce her husband to another wife.
“Most of our friends have done it,” she explains to her hubby. “Your dad had three wives.”
Elsewhere in more farcical scenes, Soso, Suzanne and Maureen attempt to summon Poussey’s spirit (although Suzanne does make quite a convincing medium).
Bringing things down to earth is a clearly distraught Taystee, who calls bullcrap on the whole to-do.
Fortunately, our favourite LGBT character Big Boo is back to lighten the mood, with quips like: “Of course, the dyke does tech. Perfect.”
And, as the name suggests, there’s a talent show happening at Litchfield – with the entertainment coming in the shape of guards.
What’s really interesting to watch is Linda’s role as a fake inmate.
She looks like she’s actually having fun – and despite having plenty of opportunities to reunite with Caputo and the COs, she chooses to ride it out with the inmates.
That’s one to watch, I reckon.