Caitlyn Jenner has revealed that she once considered suicide when she was being targeted by the press before she came out as transgender.
The reality TV star has opened up about how she struggled when celebrity gossip sites were openly speculating about her status.
“I got a gun in the house… but then the next day I thought, wouldn’t that be the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, to silence your voice?” Jenner said.
“You have the opportunity here to really make a difference, to live your life honestly.”
Jenner was speaking yesterday while promoting her latest memoir The Secrets Of My Life, which is released this week.
She also told The AP about her early attempts at transitioning in the 1980s.
Jenner’s breasts grew as a result of hormone therapy but did not shrink after she stopped treatment, and she elected to undergo liposuction when she continued to live as a man.
“I needed to pour my heart out on everything,” she said of her latest autobiography.
“What I was trying to accomplish is, one, get it all out for myself, so there were no other secrets left, but two, it was the way I dealt with my stuff.”
The book is dedicated to Jenner’s late father William, who she admits would have struggled with her transition.
“I think it would have been very difficult for him, just like it would be difficult for me,” Jenner said.
“Somebody asked me the question the other day, what if [Caitlyn’s daughter] Kendall came up to you and said that she was trans and wanted to transition into a guy?
“I went, ‘Achhhh, my little angel’, you know, ‘My cute little girl’. That’s tough for a parent. I get that.”
Jenner has proved to be a controversial figure in the trans community since coming out two years ago, in part for her continued support of the Republican Party and Trump administration, despite their perceived anti-LGBT platform.
She has since said that she refused an invitation to play golf with President Trump because of his opposition to the rights of transgender students.
Jenner has said that she was “alienated” by Ellen DeGeneres over her opposition to same-sex marriage, but later clarified her position and claimed to be “100% behind gay marriage”.
Last year, Jenner’s long-time publicist Alan Nierob hit out damaging claims by a biographer that his client was poised to de-transition due to the difficulties she has experienced.
Suicide is preventable. Readers who are affected by the issues raised in this story are encouraged to contact Samaritans on 116 123 (www.samaritans.org), or Mind on 0300 123 3393 (www.mind.org.uk). Readers in the US are encouraged to contact the National Suicide Prevention Line on 1-800-273-8255.